4,000 words, idiomatically speaking

She was in labour, she's not in labour any more...

For those of you sans Twitter, Eleanor Brianna born 01.01 11.10.09, 7lb 14 1/2 oz. Mother and baby fine. Baby feeding, mother dreaming, father spacing out.

Chris

The Name Game

OMG Pregnant has passed this meme to me and, in light of my current situation, it is jumping to the head of the queue, before all the other memes and awards that I have building up. Because, look, it’s all about naming babies!

Here’s the deal, from Mommy Words: Names are important. Your kids’ names were chosen for a particular reason and they mean a lot to you so this would be a great story to share! If you don’t share your kids’ names on your blog you can just tell us where you got the catchy nickname for your little ones or just go through 1-10 and amuse us with your naming antics! No problemo! Copy the image above to use on your blog. Go ahead and answer the questions and then pass this Name Game and the simple instructions on to 5 other bloggy moms or dads who you think might want to share their story! Make sure to let Mommy Words know so she can follow the Name Game!

1. Do you have any cultural or religious naming traditions?
   Not to my knowledge, though we did know there would be two middle names, as my surname needed to be in there as a middle name. (We are married, but I kept my name – there’s a post all about it, somewhere.)
2. Did you or your partner come to the marriage with pre-selected names?
   I didn’t and don’t think Chris did.
3. Did you consider the sound of the first and middle and last names together? Did this make any sad eliminations?
   Yes we did consider these things, and for Eleanor, we also considered how it would sound with her big sister’s name. Don’t remember whether it caused eliminations!
4. Do you have veto powers?
   We wouldn’t have anything that we didn’t both like, I believe. So, I suppose we both had veto powers.
5. Did the baby naming cause arguments?
   Not really. First time round there were some names I was disappointed to have to let go of, but I don’t think there were actual arguments about them.
6. Do you think it is easier to name boys or girls?
   Well, this time round a boy’s name was easy to come up with, as we’d already chosen one last time round and kept it! But apart from that, I don’t think one’s easier than the other.
7. Did you eliminate names because of people from your past or present who you don’t like or because a certain image comes to mind.
   Not really. We probably eliminated some for being a bit too popular at the moment, though, which was a factor.
8. Did you / would you survey your children to get their thoughts on the name?
   We asked Rosemary for some ideas when we trying to come up with girls’ names, but she wasn’t hugely interested. As soon as we had chosen, though, she started coming up with alternatives. For a fair while, she went around saying the baby in my tummy was called Holli (a choice we wouldn’t have made, as I have a cousin called Holli). These days, apparently ‘Eleanor has four names – Eleanuh, Eleanor, Chicken-Beef and Poppy’
9. Did you tell people the name or possible names before the baby was born or were they “in the vault”?
   We shared the names, as soon as we had come up with them. It’s really important to us (or possibly to me and Chris has kindly gone along with it?) to be able to bond with the baby while she’s inside and knowing the gender and being able to talk about Rosemary or Eleanor, rather than ‘it’ or ‘the baby’ makes this much easier. It’s doubly useful this time, because it has allowed Rosemary to more easily appreciate that there is a baby inside my tummy and she talks to her and sings to her.
10. Did you use baby name books?
    I don’t think so, but think we may have looked at some naming websites.

Drumroll Please… What did you name your kid(s) and why?

Rosemary Alice Goddard Clark

Rosemary is a combination of two of our grandmothers’ names. Rose was Chris’ Nanny and Mary was my Granny Mary. Chris’ Nanny was still alive when Rosemary came into the world and so she knew that Rosemary was partly named after her, which is nice. It was also very important for us to have a long name that the child could choose to shorten in various ways as and when (and if) they wanted to, because not everyone is always happy with their given name. I had been quite keen on Maria, after my Granny Mary, but Chris had some issues with names ending in the letter A, so that was eliminated. I honestly can’t remember who came up with the combination, but we both really liked it – the name and also the fact that it had meaning within both families, we also liked that it was an older name that isn’t especially common at the moment.

Alice we came up with in hospital, after my waters broke and waiting for contractions to start. ‘Oh no. We don’t have a middle name!’ We just went through a few, taking turns suggesting them and saying ‘Hmm, maybe’ or ‘No!’, or ‘Yes’ and we both liked Alice and sounded good with Rosemary! I do have a second cousin called Alice and had a childhood friend called Alice, but they’re both really nice.

Eleanor Brianna Goddard Clark

With Eleanor, we were again aiming for a name that could be shortened in various ways and also wanted something that would be sound good when said with Rosemary. We considered a combination of the other two grandmothers, but that didn’t really work (Treena and Lena), so it was just a case of coming up with ideas and finding one we both liked. I’m fairly certain that Eleanor was Chris’ idea, initially, and I really liked it, too. We discussed it a bit and looked up things about it – it’s what Sam Gamgee called one of his daughters, though with a different spelling, for example; there’s an Eleanor in Sense and Sensibility, again with a different spelling. As with Rosemary, it’s not hugely common in this day and age, which we like. And we like it. We do both pronounce it differently, which is amusing – one of us will probably end up using the other’s pronunciation in the end!

Brianna is a female version of Brian. If Eleanor had been a boy, then her middle name would have been Brian – at my request. My father (Brian John Goddard) passed away in 2007 and I wanted his name in there if it was a boy. Chris was quite happy with that, and then came up with the suggestion that we might be able to find a nice female version of Brian for a girl. We were neither of us too keen on Bryony, but liked Brianna, which sounds (and possibly is, I don’t recall) more Celtic (my dad was Welsh) and again, is a little unusual. It is a little too unusual for some people, and we do often have to spell it out and people hear ‘Rhiannon’ instead of Brianna when we say it sometimes.

They both have the surname Clark, but have Goddard as a second middle name. We didn’t want to go with the whole double-barrelled surname, because it’s a bit too much to lumber a child with. For the most part, Rosemary is Rosemary Clark, just officially, Rosemary Alice Goddard Clark. Sometimes people stick the Goddard onto the Clark to double-barrel it and they are corrected. It was important for me to have the Goddard there, so people wouldn’t question my parenthood, but I could remain Tasha Goddard and not have to change my name. Though I have found, since becoming a mum, that I am far more often called ‘Mrs Clark’ and Chris is far less often called ‘Mr Goddard’. I let it go a fair bit, these days, especially if it’s someone I’m going to see once (e.g. British Gas engineer), but will correct pre-school staff and doctors’ receptionists and so on. If I phone up nursery school or playgroup, I tend to say ‘This is Tasha, Rosemary’s mum.’ and just leave the whole surname out of it.

Well, that was fun. Took my mind off Eleanor still not being here (no more contractions since they were gone on waking Sunday morning, by the way).

I need to pass this on. Am trying to think of anyone else who uses their children’s actual names, and OMG Pregnant has already passed on to two I would have chosen (Emily at Maternal Tales and Amy at And 1 More Means Four, who is currently suffering through first-trimester tiredness with her fifth, yes fifth, baby):

• Kelly at A Place of My Own, though I’m fairly sure she has recently explained the origin of Piran’s name.
• Zoe at Diary of a Surprise Mum; I would love to know where Isabel’s name came from.
• Peggy at Perfectly Happy Mum; as with Emily at Maternal Tales she will have needed to pick names that work both in French and English, so it’s even more interesting.

That’s everyone I can think of who uses their children’s actual names on their blogs – and I might actually be wrong about them! I shall also throw it open to anyone else who wants to do it, because I find names fascinating.

She’s in labour, she’s not in labour, she’s in…

So, those of you following Twitter, Facebook or Babyworld updates may have been under the impression that Eleanor would be here by now. And you wouldn’t be the only one.

Unfortunately, this was not to be. The contractions that started on Thursday afternoon and got closer together and stronger until, yesterday lunchtime, they felt strong enough and close enough to go the maternity unit, have now completely and utterly disappeared.

We spent a couple of hours at the maternity unit, but the contractions got weaker and they needed to witness three strong (“toe-curling”) contractions in ten minutes before they would examine me to see how dilated I was (or if I was).

They’re all fairly convinced it won’t be long, considering how far down the head is, but we still need those strong contractions. Waters are still intact. I have a feeling I won’t get the really strong contractions until the waters have gone, though I know plenty of people’s waters don’t go until they’re well into labour, so may be wrong there.

Anyway, they said we could wait there, or go home where it’s more comfortable and the TV works. What do you think we chose? Yes, of course, we came home. And Chris went out to get a curry – an extra spicy one for me. Seems to have had the opposite effect to the desired one, though! And I really, really don’t like hot curries – ow, ow, ow.

I think (barring an actual birth, of course, which would have been the best outcome), I prefer that the contractions have stopped completely for the moment. Because everything was very much on hold, waiting for them to get stronger and for something to happen. Obviously, we’re still waiting for something to happen, but we’re back to the possibility that it could still take another three weeks, or happen any minute. So, Chris will take Rosemary swimming as normal, this morning and I’ll do a bit of work while they’re out and send some invoices, so that when Eleanor does finally arrive we can afford to buy nappies. And, while various relatives will be keeping their mobiles charged and glued to them ready to come look after Rosemary and Wesley, give us lifts to hospitals, or jump in a car and drive all the way from Scotland (somehow, how I think that won’t happen until they have pictorial evidence that she’s been born!), we will be carrying on much as normal and will deal with labour as and when it actually occurs. Properly.

I’m wondering whether I should keep completely quiet (at least about Eleanor) now until I have an actual birth to announce. I’m aware that I am getting everyone’s (not least my own) hopes up every time I tweet about all these false starts. Would you prefer silence until I can say ‘Eleanor Brianna Goddard Clark was born at XXX on XXX and weighed XXX’? Or are you happy to (unintentionally) teased by false start after false start after false start? Of course, I get so excited when I’m convinced it is happening, that I might well ignore your wishes and tweet, etc. anyway.

Quick update

Not in my usual style, I'm going to do a quick update to keep all the inquisitive people out there satisfied...

Eleanor is still tucked up inside me. But she is now fully engaged - in the words of the midwife yesterday 'Really, really, right down there,' and will be coming very very soon - again, according to the midwife. She has booked me in for my 39-week appointment next Thursday, but says she'll be extremely surprised if I need to go and that it's more likely to be within the next couple of days. She said there's no way I will go late, let alone make my due date and this baby is very much ready to come out and meet us.

I am now more pregnant than I have ever been before, which is kind of odd. We actually got to talk about methods for active labour and positions for birth and so on, which I never got round to last time - and had pretty much no choice over. She has given me her 'other mobile number'. The one which you call if you're in labour. And she will be there to help out if at all possible (she is off over the weekend, though), which is really nice. All the midwives I've met up at Stroud Maternity have been lovely, but the possibility of getting such continuity of care and being able to have the same midwife present at the birth who has seen me throughout the pregnancy is just perfect - even if she can't make it, knowing that she would like to makes a big difference.

Anyway, after all that, last night was the first night in ages when I didn't have any contractions. Perhaps because I was feeling happier and more relaxed?

So, hopefully the next post will be a birth announcement.

For more up-to-date information, check out the Twitter feed to the right (or follow me on Twitter), or add me on Facebook (link on the right, again), as these are both easier to update from a mobile phone than the blog, so will probably see the news there first.