Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Looking back and looking forward (and a little poll)

I’ve been reading back over Rosemary’s blog, recently, trying to remember what it’s like to have a small baby. I’ve gotten pretty used to my life getting back to some semblance of normality over the last year or so. Having evenings to myself, going out with Chris for meals or a drink, working something close to normal hours (give or take the occasional horrendous week like the last one), having baths whenever I want to, and so on.

To be honest, I’ve been a bit worried about how to cope with adding a new baby into the mix. How am I going to find the time to work and spend time with Rosemary? Will I have any Me Time left in among it all? Will I ever be able to iron again?

But I’d forgotten that the first few months are actually fine in terms of finding the time to work and that there’s lots of time to relax while pushing a buggy round and breast-feeding. Of course, that won’t stop me occasionally wishing for a different life:

I'm exhausted, though, and do wish I could be a 'normal' mum sometimes and not have the added responsibility of working. It's not much fun when every moment of Rosemary sleeping during the day has to be used for working. It would be nice to, oh, I don't know, play a computer game or something (hmm, why would I use that as an example?). Do some studying (somehow don't think I'll be doing any more OU courses for a long while!) maybe. Of course, I do get to do relaxing things like watching TV or reading while she's feeding and can (at the moment, anyway) watch TV while I'm playing with her, so I do get some 'leisure time' then. And I get to go out walking and meet people for coffee or lunch, which I never used to have time to do. So I have a much more varied life than I used to. I'm much, much fitter too. All this pushing a buggy is great. Still have the tummy flap of flab, though. Don't know how to get rid of that.

That was written when Rosemary was three months old. What this reminds me is that I will cope fine. I will adjust to Number 2, just as I adjusted to Number 1. And I will probably find that I get a nice balance back again, as it’s been a while since I’ve had nice strolls round town and gone for coffee in Costa and so on (will need a bit more money to do Costa, of course). Rosemary will be at nursery school and playgroup every morning and some afternoons from September and maybe, just maybe, she’ll have learnt to sleep through the night by then, as well. She’ll be old enough to actually help out a bit. It will be great.

Now, apparently MTJAM only just worked out what WAHM means. So, I’d be interested to know how many of you know what it means and have always done so. Or did it take a while for you to realise, as well? Hands up, don’t be shy!


  1. You will be just fine.
    You tell yourself that it's only for a short time and you're doing it for something you really want and someone you will really love.
    Knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel always helps!

    WAHM - work at home mum? It's a phrase all over the press like a rash at the moment so it clearly makes you a super trendy mum!
    MTJAM has clearly still got 'mummy brain' going on!

  2. It funny - when I first saw it I didn't know what it meant - I thought it was just another way of spelling Wham and that it worked equally as well, but then I kept seeing it around and a few followers on Twitter were using the same word, so I eventually cottoned on. 'Work At Home Mother' - there see I know!!

    As for having two, it isn't easy (especially to begin with). My husband says having one is like having a pet and having two is like running a zoo - and I think I agree with him. It does get easier and sometimes it's even fun!! Definitely getting your elder one to sleep through the night will help though - or else you'll end up playing a game of tag and it will be unbearable for you.

  3. You'll find it far easier than the first. You waon't be in shock and you'll know, pretty much, what's coming!

    WAHM - It only took me a few months to realise ... but that's nothing new!

  4. It means work at home Mum, I assume. Took me a few mins to work it out but I am very used to the SAHM acronym so I got there pretty quickly.

    I lvoe your blog by the way :)

  5. Can't spell. Sorry. Love not lvoe!

  6. You'll get used to it, and pretty soon having two children will be a doddle. Mind you, if having two is like running a zoo, I'm not sure what I'm doing...

    As for WAHM, I feel the need to clarify that it was the word in the context of the blog title that I didn't get (smart arse Tara ;) ) If you had used it in a blog post ("life is so much easier now that I'm a WAHM") I would have known immediately. Of course. Nappy brain indeed....

  7. Tara: Ah yes, I knew deep down I was a cool and trendy mum; just needed to find out how!

    MT: A zoo? Eek! Well, she has a few months to get the sleeping through the night sorted, so I shall keep my fingers crossed (and buy lots more gold stars).

    Laura: That's what I'm hoping for. With the first one you get to learn gradually with all your mistakes and with the second one you get to put your knowledge into practice. And I'm not going to listen to anyone who points out that all children are different and there will be plenty of mistakes learn from second time round. Nope. Hands over ears.

    Little R: Thank you.

    MTJAM: A safari park? Sorry for outing you, though it seems you weren't the only one. I may well add a gloss to the subtitle, if I ever get round to my long-promised redesign (am thinking maybe Christmas!).

  8. I think you will adjust pretty quickly and you're right, the first few months are going to be easy peasy as the baby will just lie there and sleep, feed and not cause too much trouble. I advise, however, taking a hard line in making Rosemary sleep through the night NOW before the baby turns up. Try Ferber? I know it seems like it might be impossible but whatever drama is created before the little one is here is going to be blamed on you, afterwards the resentment will be on him/her which you DON'T want and you'll be a lot more tired. I didn't find the jump from 1 to 2 to be a huge shocker, and our family is much jollier. There is less down time, it's true, but the elder child quickly becomes easier to entertain/more self-sufficient and you get smarter about carving out 'me' time. It's all good! And babies are SO delicious. Ok, need to talk self out of 3rd now.. oxox
    ps always knew WAHM but then I'm in USA..

  9. Work at Home Mum? Actually I hadn't realised it stood for anything until you mentioned it!

  10. Ok, you said 'don't be shy', so here's a confession that makes me sound like the stupidest reader your blog has ever had.

    I do know what WAHM stands for. Somehow, though, I didn't make the connection with the title of your blog. Duuuuh... So I have occasionally wondered whether to email you privately and point out politely that you'd mis-spelt wham-bam. Oh, thank goodness I never did.

    There. Told you it was stupid.

  11. MTFF: I think she's been reading the blog, actually, as she seems to be doing it of her own accord suddenly. She's also being much, much less terrible-twoey. I have a horrible feeling that it's down to my hormones getting 2nd-trimester better and that she's picking up on me being nicer and so being nicer herself. If only I could be nice 24-7, we'd have no problems at all!

    Rosie: Yup.

    Iota: Well, it seems you're not the only one. I have changed the subtitle now, so it's a bit clearer, though I'm going to have to go back and put some hyphens in (don't be confused if already have!). I came up with that blog name about three months before I set up the blog, and I was so proud of it, too. Harumph.