Thursday, 25 February 2010

The One Cuddle Regime

For those of you who read yesterday’s post about our recent bedtime woes, this is a quick update to report the success of the One Cuddle Regime.

Having warned Rosemary that there would be one cuddle and one cuddle only from each of us at bedtime, and having had lots of extra daytime cuddles, we started off the bedtime routine as usual, after a bath. We let it start a bit later, just in case Noble Savage’s point that she might not quite be ready for bed was right. Everything went fine with the routine. And she got her one cuddle from each of us.

She didn’t roll over and go straight to sleep, of course. She tried ‘Cuddle?’ once but was reminded of the rule and didn’t try again. She did try some other things, including the normal ones which we ‘allow’ – getting a drink, getting a teddy and going to the loo – and one biggie that I should have thought to include in the new rule – getting her covers put back on. Fortunately, Chris is good at thinking on his feet, and refused and stood his ground. The second time she ‘needed’ to do a wee, she was guided back to bed, with a firm ‘No, you just did one,’ and Chris sneakily put the covers on her without her noticing or asking, so he didn’t give in. She then tried out the old ‘Mummy! I need you!’ shout for a while. The rule there, though, is that she has to say what she needs us for, otherwise we will not come. So, I think she may well have been testing to see if that rule was still the same. I stood my ground.

And she went to sleep.

And neither Chris nor I shouted once. We managed to keep to firm but calm, though we both had moments where we wobbled a little.

So, all in all, I would say the One Cuddle Regime was a success, coupled with our remembering (thanks to your comments) about standing firm and keeping calm. I would hope that the next few nights will probably gradually get a bit better, until it’s back to normal by the start of next week.

Hoorah! Yay! And, thank you!

Oh, and if you didn’t read the comments on yesterday’s post and have a three-and-a-half-year-old, you might want to. Apparently, it is the age of the meltdown. Only by this point they’ve developed the ability to bargain, debate and, essentially, far more easily wrap their parents round their little fingers. You thought the Terrible Twos were bad? These half-way to four-year-olds could argue the clothes off a hostage negotiator.

16 comments:

  1. I am so pleased that tonight went well, hopefull it will be the start of things to come. I agree on 3 and a half year olds Mini has just come down!!

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  2. Good news. I also remember my kids being worse behaved at age 4 than they were at 2! When she goes to school it will tire her out so should help her get to sleep quicker.

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  3. Congrats long may it continue. I hope to sort our 'routine' - or lack thereof- for our soon to be 1 year old.

    Maybe you should write a book on your successes?!?

    Take care and enjoy your evening
    xx

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  4. SOO happy for you! Sometimes all it takes is a little distance and a decent plan. (Most often that works for us - just a shame we always muddle along for a while first.) Hurray!!!

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  5. Yay!! Nothing worse than pleading with them to settle at bedtime. That's why I keep them in a cot for as long as possible. ;0)

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  6. Yay, so glad to hear! We're having similar struggles actually (despite Geekygirl now being four, I guess there isn't a magic number!), just sat down to blog about them actually. Also instigated new bedtime routine. I'm just not good at being tough.

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  7. Brilliant news! It must have been such a stress free evening for you all, wonderful!

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  8. Well, I wasn't in time for yesterday's post, before today's. I think you had the answer inside you all along, just needed to sit down and write a blog post to get it out from the murky sleep-deprived depths! Sounds like the One Cuddle rule is working already.

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  9. I awarded you a spot of sunshine over at mine (sorry if you got it already! http://geekymummy.blogspot.com/2010/02/sunshine-award.html

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  10. Thanks for this it is very timely. I get it from our nearly 8-yr-old! They know that asking for a cuddle pulls at your heart strings. Or sometimes she says she can't sleep. Great advice!

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  11. fab! Loving your blog at the moment. I've tagged you over at my blog, it's a really big issue, I hope you'll take part and play.

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  12. Be warned, she may really pull out the stops to test if this new regime really is the way it's going to be...things will probably get a lot worse before she settles...stick to your guns though, you are on the right track, but be ready for a severe testing! Take it from a mom of 3 girls!!

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  13. Oh no why do you do this to me?!!
    Oli is only 11mths and I'm still trying to get him to sleep through the night .. I didn't think what it would be like when he's older and when we have to put him to bed..whilst he puts up a fight because he doesn't want too.. aaarrgghh!!

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