tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post343477763723057567..comments2023-10-25T15:48:00.022+01:00Comments on WAHM-BAM!: The Secret of Happy ChildrenCoding Mamma (Tasha)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-1150180190649085682009-07-24T07:27:48.694+01:002009-07-24T07:27:48.694+01:00MTJAM: Toddler Taming is the one I'm reading n...MTJAM: Toddler Taming is the one I'm reading now and I'm loving it. <br /><br />Biddulph didn't actually write 'Raising Girls', just endorsed it, and the comments about it are mostly negative, so I don't think I have requested it. Though it might be interesting to read it to see if I have a different opinion. Hmm. Will think about it. Have four to be getting on with at the moment, anyway.Coding Mamma (Tasha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-15197822779219587622009-07-23T21:41:15.485+01:002009-07-23T21:41:15.485+01:00Toddler Taming was excellent, although I followed ...Toddler Taming was excellent, although I followed his advice about 'tying your child's door shut' (yes really, I was going through a desperate time...) and gave my poor toddler nightmares for a week.<br /><br />Biddulph has written 'how to bring up boys' (not terribly relevant to you, but incredibly insightful) and 'how to bring up girls' (more relevant, but I haven't read it yet. In fact, could you try to review that? :) )Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-49168121295741061732009-07-21T12:32:17.532+01:002009-07-21T12:32:17.532+01:00Zooarchaeologist: Toddler Taming is one of the one...Zooarchaeologist: Toddler Taming is one of the ones I just received. I have contacted the publishers of all the recommended books (well, where I could find them!) to ask if they wanted to supply review copies and/or give-aways. The two Todder Taming books are the first ones to arrive, so they'll be the first ones to be reviewed. They certainly look good from the quick flick through I've done.Coding Mamma (Tasha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-53197364519646002792009-07-21T11:58:50.662+01:002009-07-21T11:58:50.662+01:00toddler taming is by bible,but I do enjoy steven b...toddler taming is by bible,but I do enjoy steven biddulphs easy to read style. I think the key thing with kids is to treat them with respect. From that, the rest comes naturally...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08577641788742285017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-56191942142029508202009-06-12T16:24:11.703+01:002009-06-12T16:24:11.703+01:00very intersting, i know i don't give my childr...very intersting, i know i don't give my children enough of my attention. I never thought that could be the reason they act up all the time...Laura McIntyrehttp://synchronizationofus.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-39293747665034255482009-06-10T15:14:41.504+01:002009-06-10T15:14:41.504+01:00Emily: Yes, sorry, it was a bit long. Amazed anyon...Emily: Yes, sorry, it was a bit long. Amazed anyone managed to hang in there that long! That book sounds interesting. No punishments or rewards would definitely be nice! Let me know if it was any good when you've finished it. <br /><br />Did tweet the scan news, yes, but it was last Monday and you were probably busy unpacking and cleaning out your car after the journey home! I'm very happy to be having two girls and quite happy to stop there (at the moment anyway). It's funny how many people have said 'Oh, you'll just have to try again for a boy, then.' Um. Why? Full name will be Eleanor Brianna Goddard Clark. Brianna is after my dad (would have been Alexander Brian if it was a boy). <br /><br />Sally: I think maybe I need to take a look at the Baby Whisperer. I think I heard some negative comments about her, so dismissed her totally, but it sounds like there's some useful stuff in there. <br /><br />I'm very interested in your going to the cinema strategy, and may well take it up, or something similar, at least. I think it probably needs to be out of the house to work properly, otherwise I'd be tempted to do some washing or some work!Coding Mamma (Tasha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-80516510387526802592009-06-10T09:37:55.805+01:002009-06-10T09:37:55.805+01:00Thanks for the review. I'm another real fan of...Thanks for the review. I'm another real fan of the Baby Whisperer which has a similar sort of philosophy - the idea being that your job as a parent isn't to help your children always be happy, but to experience and deal with the full range of emotions in a healthy, practical way. It's about being firm but fair, which I like. <br /><br />I really empathised with your comment about taking time to do non-work while children are in nursery. I'm a freelancer and single parent and I used to feel that when my daughter was in nursery, that was 'work' time. <br /><br />But this New Year, I realised I hadn't been to the cinema since she was born. Now,two or three times a month, I take an afternoon off and go and see a film. It's FANTASTIC. It's like proper grown up time that's just for me, I don't have to worry about anything or anyone else for a couple of hours. What I've found is it's meant I'm calmer and more able to focus on HER when I'm with my daughter as a result. Thoroughly, thoroughly recommend it as a strategy.<br /><br />SallySallyhttp://totsy.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-55906169867060580102009-06-09T21:17:46.963+01:002009-06-09T21:17:46.963+01:00Sorry it's taken me so long to post a comment ...Sorry it's taken me so long to post a comment - I had to read this in two sittings because I kept getting distractd by children! Very interesting - haven't read this book but I have heard a number of people recommend his book called 'Raising Boys' - which, having two girls, I may never get round to reading! But yes, the chapter on assertiveness does sound a worthwhile read - I definitely need help with this. A friend recently recommended 'Helping Young Children Flourish' but I haven't got round to reading it yet - but she said there was a great chapter on parenting without punishment or reward (it was in response to my post on discipline) so it sounds like it's worth a read.<br /><br />And wow - did I miss the baby scan news??? Did you tweet it? How exciting! I'm so pleased for you. Two little girls - just like me!!! I'm sure they'll be fantastic friends - and yes, Eleanor is gorgeous - goes very well with Rosemary. So excited for you. xxxMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-15132296879640847662009-06-09T09:48:06.301+01:002009-06-09T09:48:06.301+01:00Thanks, Iota. Nice to see you doing the rounds aga...Thanks, Iota. Nice to see you doing the rounds again - take care of yourself. I will look into that book, as we didn't do terribly well with Rosemary's sleeping as a baby, and are hoping to do a bit better with Eleanor, but without doing controlled crying, because I really can't bear it!<br /><br />Thanks, Amy. I recall seeing an episode of her TV show when I was expecting Rosemary and worried about how difficult things might be!<br /><br />Clareybabble: I think being positive is so important. I know some people worry that they'll give their children big heads, but I think, especially at an early age, it's essential for developing self-esteem and learning that it's OK to try out new things. But it's funny how you can be negative without even realising it. I catch myself these days saying things like 'Now, don't be silly. You know that won't work.' or laughing at a particularly odd way of doing something, neither of which is positive! It's still a far cry from telling a child they're horrible or stupid, but will no doubt still have an effect. <br /><br />Rosie: Wow! I hope you find it as useful as I did.<br /><br />Kelloggsville: Thanks for the recommendations. And the warning about Raising Girls. Now I feel challenged to read it myself, for some reason, though, and may have to see if I can get it from the library! <br /><br />Grit: I don't suffer too badly from PMS, fortunately, but at the start of this pregnancy my hormones turned me into an awful person. I was snapping at Rosemary and shouting at Chris and generally being awful. That's interesting that the psychologist said that most behavioural problems are down to needing attention. I think, once you realise this, you can really see it in action. I'm now generally stopping to think, whenever Rosemary kicks off about something (less and less common, these days, since we're making concerted efforts to give her more concentrated chunks of attention), to check if I've been slacking on the attention-giving, and almost always I have! <br /><br />Dulwich Divorcee: Thank you, you are too kind! I have a number of teenage cousins at the moment, and can really see what you mean. There are an awful lot of parallels between toddlers and teenagers. I, of course, was a perfect teenager and no trouble at all (my mum might disagree, though). <br /><br />Thanks, Jo. My aunt, who passed the book back to me, is a single parent and she found the book very useful. I'm sure it must be difficult for you all, working out new ways of doing things. And we are quite fond of the name, too - it grows on me more and more every day, in fact. <br /><br />Geekymummy: Thanks for the recommendations. They both sound like good books and ones that would be very useful to read. I think I'll be doing a bit of library ordering with all these recommendations!<br /><br />HOM: Good luck with getting the boys to eat breakfast! It's funny how one day they can gobble it down and have seconds and thirds and another day they won't touch it. Apparently (according to the book again), if you give your children a breakfast of complex carbs and high protein (e.g. scrambled egg on wholemeal toast, porridge and bacon, wholegrain cereal and yoghurt) they'll be happier for the rest of the day. I've managed to try it a total of twice since reading the book, and Rosemary was very happy both those days, but could be just coincidence. Finding the time to cook food when you've got a mad dash to get out the door is a challenge, though. Ham or cheese sandwich on wholemeal would work, though, I suppose.Coding Mamma (Tasha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-24956725705744813072009-06-09T07:58:54.330+01:002009-06-09T07:58:54.330+01:00THanks Tasha. I honestly don't have time to re...THanks Tasha. I honestly don't have time to read another parenting book but your summary helped a lot and I'm now going to practice that assertiveness technique and see if I can get my guys to eat breakfast!Home Office Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248456622235889204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-88135774029228808112009-06-09T05:26:02.064+01:002009-06-09T05:26:02.064+01:00Thanks for the review, it sounds like a book I wou...Thanks for the review, it sounds like a book I would like. My parenting bibles are "How to talk so kids will Listen" and "siblings without rivalry", both also written in the 1980's by adele faber and elaine mazlish. The books are all about effective communication, empathy, offering alternatives to unwanted behaviour, and building strong self esteem; examples: "I hear how angry you are" "I wish it wasn't raining", "yes, brothers can be very annoying", "trains are not for throwing. If you want to throw, throw your ball". These books have honestly made me a better parent.geekymummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10529149669501249892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-78770455662458285812009-06-08T11:29:19.902+01:002009-06-08T11:29:19.902+01:00I have this book somewhere I think. I'll rout...I have this book somewhere I think. I'll route it out again and have a good read as there are some issues I think I need to work on, especially in our current situation. Great review. And aI love the name Eleanor, beautiful.Jo Beaufoixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957369658590225971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-18490643480381972492009-06-08T11:18:14.946+01:002009-06-08T11:18:14.946+01:00Lovely post, and told us a lot about you as well a...Lovely post, and told us a lot about you as well as your children! You sound like a lovely Mummy. I did read this book years ago but, now that my children are 13 and 11, it strikes me more and more that the teenage years are like a regression into toddlerdom and so it was a good refresher course - thank you!DD's Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05398659302311180518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-45997849378384927322009-06-07T23:10:21.554+01:002009-06-07T23:10:21.554+01:00an interesting post, thank you! i feel those elast...an interesting post, thank you! i feel those elastic band moments (strangely coinciding with bad pms!) when i've lost my temper really undo a year's worth of 'well dones'. <br /><br />spending time with kids to talk and listen, seriously *listen* and not just think i've listened when i haven't has been tremendously helpful. we tried 'the explosive child' for Tiger who was going off the scale. <br /><br />actually, seeing a psychologist helped too! she said most of behaviour issues came down to needing attention. it probably marked the start of when i tried really making sure i was listening.Grithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14022216340604423686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-72399411894221240242009-06-07T21:20:41.778+01:002009-06-07T21:20:41.778+01:00I like Toddler Taming and Beyond Toddlerdom by Chr...I like Toddler Taming and Beyond Toddlerdom by Christopher Green. Talking to Tweenies by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer. Before your Kids drive you Crazy by Nigel Latta. Rules of Parenting from the rules series.<br /><br />Gisela Preuschoff's Raising Girls is sometimes put up with Steven Biddulph books. I really didn't like her Raising Girls - thought it was absolute twaddle.AGuidingLifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05823333742737762759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-87265938122766064312009-06-07T20:44:31.835+01:002009-06-07T20:44:31.835+01:00A great review, Tasha. I have literally just order...A great review, Tasha. I have literally just ordered the book after reading it. Many thanks. Looks like it's the sort of book I need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-29489920738345764042009-06-07T19:58:27.646+01:002009-06-07T19:58:27.646+01:00I'd really like to read that book having read ...I'd really like to read that book having read your post, although some of it is what I've heard from others. Particularly the part about being positive about your child when they're around. I do that all the time and it really does help - S looks so pleased and proud of himself! Great post xAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10754562741952800845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-11985977961474824342009-06-07T17:16:29.367+01:002009-06-07T17:16:29.367+01:00A great informative post i loved reading it! The a...A great informative post i loved reading it! The advice given is very good and i would love to read the whole book. I'm a fan of the baby whisperer and i love her approach to looking after children. x xand1moremeans5https://www.blogger.com/profile/05872366593739511282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7319458572799914437.post-73780140634506737992009-06-07T01:24:50.096+01:002009-06-07T01:24:50.096+01:00It all sounds full of common sense and practical w...It all sounds full of common sense and practical ways of going about things.<br /><br />I loved Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No Cry Sleep Solution", which charts a sensible way between the two opposing philosophies of either leaving a baby to cry himself to sleep alone, or responding to every whimper and then having a baby who can't sleep without constant parental help. It really had lots of good ideas to try.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com